brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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