I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize