we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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