what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
