I hope mine doesn't look like that
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
