I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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