Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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