I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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