did you get engaged???
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
