So drunk, too bad you don't want this
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize