he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It's just like the Real World with babies
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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