I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Randomize
