sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
