i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
