He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
