my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
