I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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