I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
