i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
two words: eviction party
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
my poor anus
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
