Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
