i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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