Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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