So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
