I'm so fucking centered right now
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
