I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
