These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Send help, water and tortillas.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
