we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
PANTIES FOUND
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