I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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