In the future we'll all be gay
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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