so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
