I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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