Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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