6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
