We named our party play list daddy issues
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
