I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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