i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This house was built for laser tag.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
