Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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