dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
