i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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