i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
