is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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