glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
