I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
