I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
