It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You ate ashes out of my bong
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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