yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
