I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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