Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize