Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
3pm strippers are depressing
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
