Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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