I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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