I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
