Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
