I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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