u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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