Its about making memories worth repressing
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
