I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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