Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
