I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
