i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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