my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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