But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
