she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
