Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
