thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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