doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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