I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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