eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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