Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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