So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
