when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
