God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Randomize
