FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
